This is satire, though given the rather drastic cuts in the Royal Navy budget, it doesn’t feel too far off the mark. From News Biscuit:
HMS Victory to replace Trident and Ark Royal
HMS Victory, Nelson’s flagship at the Battle of Trafalgar, is to be brought back into service, replacing Trident and the Ark Royal.
‘As the centre-piece of the Strategic Defence Review, HMS Victory will once again give Britain dominance on the high seas,’ said Defence Secretary Liam Fox. ‘The upgraded crew quarters will boast proper toilet facilities to replace the eighteenth-century poop deck, and the refurbished ship’s decks will accommodate the crack carrier pigeon squadron forming a new communications system. The pigeons will reside in an updated crow’s nest.’
The Victory will be the first in a planned fleet of naval vessels to be known as the Heritage Fleet. Admiralty Chiefs are known to be considering the addition of HMS Pinafore and are believed to have commissioned a feasibility study for the Tudor battleship Mary Rose, which has submarine capability.
Given the low deck beams and the stature of modern crew, the re-activation of the Victory would offer a sterling opportunity for Her Majesty’s government to turn the ship over to a predominantly female crew. The historic ship’s capabilities will further benefit from the low radar signature of her wooden walls.
While the above is a possible manning – womanning? – solution the real concern is the landing of helicopters. With a lower Ensign staff there is the possibility to fit a helo deck aft. However given current budget cuts there may not be helicopters available.
Good Watch.
This sort of creative thinking bodes well for the future of the Royal Navy. 😉