Preserved Fish
Puritans were notorious for weird names. Some first names are strangely long, such as “If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned” or “Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith”. Some names were short but just disturbingly odd. Fly-fornication, for example. In 1766, Preserved Fish was born in Portsmouth, Rhode Island. His first name, Preserved, pronounced “pre-SER-vedd” is thought to be a shortening of “Preserved in Grace” or “Preserved from Sin.”
As a young man, Preserved shipped out on a whaling ship on a voyage to the Pacific. At 21, he became a whaling ship captain. When he came ashore, he became a successful merchant in first New Bedford and then New York City. He founded the shipping firm, Fish & Grinnell. He later became one of the 28 brokers of the New York Exchange Board, which later became the New York Stock Exchange and also became a director of Bank of America. He also served until his death as President of the Tradesman’s Bank. His family, which remained prominent in New York, also gave rise to Hamilton Fish, governor, senator, and secretary of state, and Stuyvesant Fish, a notable railroad president.
Preserved Fish has not entirely been forgotten. Singer/songwriter Ken Ficara immortalizes Preserved Fish with a song by the same name. The lyrics are below. Click here to listen to Ken singing his song.
He was a merchant and a banker; his ships rode at anchor
In the harbor; he had fortune and fame
He lunched on Wall Street with the gentry
In the early 19th century
But he had a most unfortunate name
Preserved Fish, did you ever wish
More than your name had gone down in history?
Oh Preserved, what’d you do to deserve it?
To have a name that caused you so much misery?
You went to school with students
Named Patience and Prudence
But their religious names were not so odd
You were preserved from sin, preserved in grace
But not preserved from your classmates
You must have suffered hard in that schoolyard.
Preserved Fish, did you ever wish
That your name didn’t bring to mind sardines?
Oh Preserved, what’d you do to deserve it?
How could your Quaker parents be so mean?
Nowadays we’re just as bad
We name our kids for the latest fad
We didn’t learn a single thing from you
We’ve got parents who just can’t spell
We’ve got a dumb blonde named for a French hotel
What’s a poor little kid supposed to do?
Preserved Fish, did you ever wish
For a name that didn’t sound like pickled herring?
Oh Preserved, what’d you do to deserve it?
What made your saintly parents so uncaring?
So as you name your sons and daughters
Just remember that you ought to
Give them names that won’t make them ashamed
I’d like to ask Preserved’s parents if they ever wished they hadn’t
Forced their son to live with such an awful name
Preserved Fish, did you ever wish
For a name that didn’t sound like an order of smelts?
Oh Preserved, what’d you do to deserve it?
Did anyone ever ask you how you felt?
One has to ask, would he have achieved as much as he did, had he not been tethered to such a, well, UNIQUE monicker?
It is hard to tell what if any effect the odd name had on Preserved. As Puritan names go Preserved was not so bad. If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned Barbon, for example, was a successful economist who decided to go by the name Nicolas Barbon.
Preserved Fish: Is Interred in New York City’s Marble Cemetery 2nd street,
NY, NY.
Wasn’t just the Puritans who came up with unique and odd names. Kennesaw Mountain Landis, named for a Civil War battle, became the first commissioner of baseball. The surrounding culture has much to do with whether a name is considered odd or not. Certainly in today’s diversity there are names that some think odd while others embrace them. But parents could still show a bit of consideration when choosing their children’s names. On the milder side, my parents were going to name me Josephine but thought it wss too long so they chose Wendy instead. Good thing too; I like Wendy a lot better.